Help wanted
by EternallyNostalgic
Summary: The smashers are low on funds and must get jobs to raise money. too bad chaotic stuff always happens to them during their new Jobs. Open for job suggestions. and no, I dont own smash bros. CHAPTER 8 IS NOW UP! WOO Reviews make me smile.
1. The beggining

**AN:**I do not Own smash bros. or anything else. some of the characters are OOC for the sake of humor, so dont complain.

Peach stormed the hall of the mansion holding what happened to be a golden pot.

Stopping at Wario's room she kicked the door down, karate style I might add.

"WARIO!" She Yelled.

Wario quickly turned around. He had something green and gooey stuck on his finger, he wiped it on Peach's dress.

"What do you want toots?" Peach stepped back.

"Eww…oh, yeah I almost forgot, WHERE IS OUR MONEY? DID YOU SPEND IT ALL ON STUPID THINGS LIKE GARLIC CRACKERS AGAIN!?" she screamed. Wario flinched. "N-No I Swear…It wasn't me…"Wario said, and continued.

"It was Luigi! He had to repair his mansion…" peach blinked. "Again? That's the 3,650,742,000-th time this month…" she stared into the pot she held, this was the smasher's piggy bank of sorts. But right now the pot was empty, save for a green lint ball.

Link walked by the room. "Hey, maybe we should all get jobs! Hah! I wish..." He said sarcastically. Peach turned around to face him and poked him in the chest...

"Oh Yeah? Well, maybe we SHOULD! Who's with me?!" she threw a fist in the air. Wario and Link stood there awkwardly while crickets chirped. After 3 more minutes of dead crickets chirping she grabbed them both by the leg and dragged them out the front door rallying everyone else on her way out.

--

Everyone stood in the front yard of the mansion, facing Peach, still holding the gold pot.

"Okay Folks! Our funds are really low…if we don't get any money soon, we will lose our house." She said, holding the pot upside-down, showing its Emptiness. Captain Falcon raised a hand." Doesn't Master Hand pay for our house??" Master Hand poked him in the side." Your rent's due Capp'n, pay up." C. Falcon sighed and put a twenty in Master Hand's…Hand and happily floated away.

"We all need to get jobs!!" Peach yelled from her makeshift stage. Zelda spoke up.

"I've always wanted to be a librarian…" She received awkward stares all around her.

"Me and my big mouth…" Link muttered. Everyone began chattering random jobs they wanted to take. "Ooh, ooh! I've always wanted to become a racer!" C. falcon yelled, his arms flapping about. Peach sweatdropped. "You…are a racer…" she said.

"OMIGOSH! I finally fulfilled my dreams!!" he shouted. "Yeah…anyway, if you weirdos don't get into town and begin searching for jobs right now, I'll have to kill you all." Said Peach threateningly holding up a smart bomb. Everyone started to scramble for town shouting things like "She's got a smart bomb!" "OMG, RUN!" "Were all gonna DIE!" and "Pika!"

Peach smiled at her success. "Sweet! I can control peopled lives!" She threw the smart bomb over her shoulder, hitting an unsuspecting, money hoarding Master Hand who died on the spot. "Oops…"

Please Read and review.


	2. Groceries of DOOM

Rummaging through the fridge Ike, leader of the Greil mercenaries met his defeat.

"Where is the KETCHUP!?" he yelled to no one in particular, slumping onto the tiled kitchen floor. Zero Suit Samus, arms crossed, stood behind him.

"Pikachu had the rest of it last Friday, we could use some more, why don't you go to the store and get some?" she told him. Ike looked back at his ketchup-less bologna sandwich. Samus picked up a grocery list from the counter.

"Here, go." Ike stared at her.

"What do I look like? Your monkey? I'm not going anywhere." He said.

"Go or I will EAT YOU!" Samus yelled. And Ike scrambled for the door grabbing the list on the way out, not bothering to wonder if Samus had acquired a taste for human flesh. After leaving the mansion he turned strait for 'Malo Mart'.

--x--

Ike walked up to register 3 'Express lane' and stood behind two other costumers, one being a Goomba and the other a Charmander.

"Jiggly?" asked the small pink puff of a cashier.

"Excuse me?" the Goomba couldn't understand.

"She asked if you're paying with cash or credit…" Lucario explained, placing Goomba's purchased Items into a bag.

"Oh, okay credit." Replied the mushroom like creature. Ike swore that the cashier's voice sounded like Jigglypuff, his fellow Smasher.

After more translated questions for Charmander, it was Ike's turn to pay.

"Puff jiggly!" said the cashier. Ike did a double take while pulling out his wallet.

"Jigglypuff!? How in Master Hand's name did you find a job so fast?!"

"Puff!" replied Jigglypuff. Lucario sighed.

"Easy, she just walked in, pointed a gun, and demanded a job…" He translated. Jigglypuff nodded while she scanned Ike's groceries , which included Ketchup, hair gel and Celebrity magazines.

"Wow, using threats to get a job…how original…" said Ike. Lucario shook his head.

"She didn't use threats." Ike's eyes widened.

"Then what did she-" Lucario cut him off.

"You don't wanna know…" he said, putting the last of the items into a bag. Ike looked around. The only register that was open, was Jigglypuff's. He also noticed there were no other Employees around, other than Lucario and Jigglypuff.

"Ah, it was nice of you to give all of the Employees vacations." Said Ike handing her some money.

"Jiggly! She said putting the money away.

"She said thanks and, just so you know, they aren't on vacation…" Said Lucario.

"Then where-

"You don't wanna know…" Lucario handed Ike his groceries. Ike stared awkwardly at Jigglypuff before turning for the door.

"Jiggly!" She waved.

"Have a nice day.." Lucario translated, boredom in his tone.

Outside, Ike examined the ketchup, just to be sure it actually _was_ ketchup.

-x-

A/N: Jigglypuff murdered everyone and took over. I know, terrible. anyway, there are some characters I couldnt find jobs for so I am going to let YOU, the reader choose a job for them. so far I have alot of them planned out but please suggest a job in your review and I might consider it. I hope you enjoyed this.


	3. The adventures of Peach and Toon Link

**The Adventures of Peach and Toon Link, newspaper crew**.

-x-

Toon Link was bored. Again. He lay on the floor reading his latest comic, 'Naruto'.

But he was still bored. He already read this volume three other times, and he couldn't play with the other younger smashers who were franticly searching for job offers.

"What kind of job would a kid want anyway?" he mumbled to himself.

"I'm only twelve. I think it would break child labor laws…" little did he know, someone was listening to him.

"Ohhhhhhh, Toon Link!!" Peach happily called to him from the doorway. Toon Link shuddered.

"I found the best, most cutest, good paying job for you." Said Peach while holding a newspaper. Toon Link sat up.

"Does it involve Ice cream?" he asked.

"Uh…no."

"What about puppies?"

"No."

"Uh…Candy?"

"No. it involves newspaper." Peach stated.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…………Puppies?" Peach slapped her forehead.

"NO you stupid kid! Newspaper boy! You get to be newspaper boy!" Peach yelled, slapping his head with the newspaper as she said it.

"WHAT?!" Toon Link yelled.

"I AM NOT GOING TO THROW NEWSPAPER AT HOUSES FOR MONEY. NO WAY. NO, I AM NOT GOING-"

"You get to ride your bike…" said Peach.

"Done."

-x-

Princess Peach and Toon Link were in the garage where Toon Link's bike and a big basket of newspaper were. Peach attached the basket to Link's bike.

"I'll go with you so you don't get lost." Said Peach.

"I won't get lost, I have a compass." Toon Link stated while sitting on the bike.

"…So I can protect you?"

"You won't need to; I have my sword right here" Toon Link pointed to his sword that was indeed there.

"Just let me come with" Peach threw her arms to the side, annoyed.

"But WHHHHHYYY?" Toon Link whined.

"Because someone needs to collect the money, you throw newspaper and I will go up to the doors and get the money. Okay?" she waited for an answer, Link just gave her an annoyed stare.

"Fine." He mumbled. Peach jumped for joy.

"Sweet! Let's go!" she jumped onto the back of his bike, making it lose balance and both of them to fall over. Toon Link groaned.

"You're too fat! Walk." Peach's jaw dropped.

"I am NOT fat!!" she yelled.

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are Too!"

"Am Not!"

"Are too!!" Toon Link sighed.

"What's wrong with walking?" he asked.

"I'm wearing heels..." Peach lifted her dress to reveal her red heeled slippers. Toon Link stared at her. He would never understand girls at least not for another five years or so.

"…Fine. I'll walk." Peach sighed, already walking out towards town.

"Finally…" Toon Link sighed and began peddling.

-x-

A newspaper landed in a tree, nearly killing a bird that squawked and flew away.

"You missed. Again." Said Peach. Toon Link was standing in front of the first house, Newspapers scattered the yard and basically anything else around them. Toon Link grabbed another newspaper and threw it at the door.

"Finally!" Toon Link Gasped. It was about to hit the door stoop when it suddenly took a turn and landed on the car in the driveway. Peach and Toon Link jawdropped.

"I don't even know how that happened…" Peach sighed.

"Whatever, just go get the money…" Sighed Toon Link. Peach shrugged and walked up to the door, stepping on thousands of newspapers on the way. When she rang the doorbell it chimed a familiar tune.

"Hey! That almost sounds like my theme song!" she said excitedly, looking back at Toon link. The door opened and it was none other than Daisy, yes. That Daisy.

"OMG Peach! Long time no see huh. How are you?" Daisy Said excitedly.

"I'm great! Wow, I haven't seen you in a while since I moved to smash mansion. I didn't know this was your house..." said Peach.

"You didn't? Well, didn't you see the mailbox that has 'Daisy's house' in big, bold letters?" Said Daisy.

"No…" Peach sweatdropped.

"Oh, I know! Let's have some tea and cookies!" Daisy brought Peach inside.

Toon Link sighed, still sitting on the sidewalk.

"Oh, Peach, bring your cute little friend. He must love cookies." Daisy smiled at Link.

"I'm working…" He stated.

"You're on lunch break." Daisy said. Toon Link sighed again, getting off his bike and putting the kickstand up so it wouldn't fall and walked up into Daisy's house.

"I'm not hungry." Toon Link said. Daisy looked at him and shoved a cookie in his mouth.

"EAT! Your so small…you need nutrition." Daisy said, putting more cookies on a plate and handing it to Toon Link.

-x-

Three Horrifying Hours Later…

Toon Link and Peach walked out of the house, Toon Link looked like he was either going to vomit, faint or all of the above. Peach waved.

"We'll have to do that again sometime!" She said. Toon Link just went through the most painful three hours of his life, the girls talked about hairstyles and beauty products and then they dressed Toon Link in a puppy outfit and fed him numerous cookies. AND THEN, they talked about boys, this is what made Toon Link snap.

"Bye Peach! Bye Toon Link!" Daisy waved. Toon Link was finally done with that, he thanked the skies above. He was about to get back on his bike when…

"WHAA!" Toon Link gasped. Peach was alarmed.

"What? What is it?" she said.

"It's gone! My bike and all of the newspaper are gone!" Toon Link lay on the sidewalk, face-down. Peach looked around.

"Who would steal newspaper…?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Someone with a very twisted mind…" Toon Link sighed; his voice was muffled by the sidewalk. Peach looked around still, it was dark but many streetlamps lighted the neighborhood.

"I see something…" she whispered. Toon Link sat up.

"What do you mean?" he was whispering too.

"Someone with your bike…" Peach started walking to what she saw, a figure riding a bike. She still couldn't tell who it was though. Toon Link followed behind her. Closer and closer they could almost see it they were so close, they could smell it. Wait, smell it?

And it smelled like pizza…

"Who is that?" Toon Link asked. The figure was riding link's bike and was holding a rectangular box. Peach stared at it…it looked familiar somehow.

"Who are you and why do you have Toon Link's Bike?!" she yelled, startling Toon Link.

The figure rode over into the light and revealed that it was (Drum roll, please)……………Mario.

"Oh, Peach, Toon Link, hello!" Mario greeted. Toon Link jumped on him. Startling the red plumber.

"WHY DID YOU TAKE MY BIKE!?" yelled Toon Link.

"I wanted to help finish your-a job so I-a did. Then I did my own job at-a the pizza shack down-a the street." Mario said, he opened the rectangle box to reveal pizza inside. Peach and Toon Link's jaws dropped.

"You stole my bike…to deliver pizza?!" said Toon Link.

"You deliver pizza?!" said Peach. Mario sighed.

"Yes. But now I am-a finished. This was-a the last pizza." Said Mario.

"Well, where's the money from the newspaper?" Toon Link asked. Mario pulled a stack of dollar bills out of his pocket.

"Here you-a go. Share it between the two of you." Toon Link took the money.

"Now I can get the next volume of Naruto..." he stared at the money. Peach swiped it away.

"No, this is for saving." Toon Link began to sob like a two year old.

"But…but I earned it…sniff"

"I will save it for you and keep it safe." Said Peach. Toon Link looked up.

"…you will?" Peach nodded.

"Of Course."

-x-

Two days later…

"Toon Link! What do you think of my new dress?" she spun around in front of him wearing a blue dress. Toon Link stared.

"You used my newspaper money to buy that didn't you?"

"…Maybe…"

**A/N**: this one sort of drifted off-plot. Oops. Anyway, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers and I'm still looking for suggestions for future chapters. And I do not own smash bros. because if I did, Daisy would be playable and not a peach costume.


	4. SHH!

It was quiet, very quiet

It was quiet, very quiet. But that's how she liked it, quiet.

Yes, but who doesn't like a little peace now and again?

Princess Zelda loved quiet. And that's probably why she decided to take the job as Librarian. Ah, such an elegant job fit for an ever so elegant princess. It was quite an easy job as well, all she did was stamp books and put returned books to their rightful shelf. There she sat at the front desk with reading glasses and a cup of freshly brewed tea nearby. And don't forget the gigantic, red sign that read: 'SHHH!'.

-

Eventually a few customers would come through the door, the first one being Pit, who asked where the mythology section was. Zelda led him to the shelf and Pit found what he was looking for easily. Walking back to the front desk she thought she saw someone come through the door, yet no one was there. She sat back down and shrugged it off, she relaxed, she could have fallen asleep if not for the incredibly loud laughter coming from the comic section.

"QUIET!!" she yelled.

The laughter stopped, although she could still hear soft giggles.

Toon Link, Ness and the Ice Climbers sat on the floor of the Library, each reading a different comic.

"I've read that one already." Said Ness.

"No, you've got it all wrong! This is the fifth volume!" Toon Link replied, pointing to the number five on the cover. Nana shrugged.

"That one isn't that great anyway. 'Super Eskimo twins' is a much better comic than that." She said. Toon Link pouted.

"I don't know why I'm Friends with you people. We have NOTHING in common. And to top it off, your both pretty retro…" he rolled his eyes and went back to reading, Ignoring the pouts of Nana, Popo and Ness. Zelda Stomped over and stopped in front of Toon Link, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Would it KILL YOU to be a little LESS loud?" she said, trying to stay as calm as possible. Toon Link rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever, who are you? My mom?" Zelda fumed at this.

"Just. Be. QUIET." She said, then turned on her heel and left. Sitting back to her warm, Leather chair, she closed her eyes.

"OMIGOSH THAT WAS HILLARIOUS!" Zelda snapped up from her chair again and looked over to the comics. Toon Link quickly disappeared behind his comic before Zelda could glare at him. She sat back down with a sigh. Soft giggles followed, and then much, much louder giggles followed those.

"FOR PETEY PIRAHNA'S SAKE! BE QUIET!!" she yelled, not even getting out of her chair. Popo turned to Toon Link.

"Why don't you just borrow the book and take it home to read?" Toon Link looked at him like he was insane.

"NO WAY! I am not going to waste rupees on this…besides, Peach took my money anyway." He said loudly. That was the last straw. Summoning Din's fire, she guided the flame towards the loud kids and released it with a "Ya!" setting all of her precious books ablaze in the process. Toon Link, Ness and the Ice Climbers were sent flying through the roof.

"Were blasting off again!!" Toon Link yelled, earning a glare from Team Rocket, who was trying to steal Pikachu.

-o-

"What's with that kid?" said Jessie, standing in the front lawn of the smash mansion.

"And why do his eyes look like a cat's?" James stated.

"Maybe he's my lawst brother…" Meowth sighed.

-o-

There she stood, her precious Library destroyed. Zelda fell to her knees.

Pit walked up behind her, holding a now charred book of mythology in his hand.

"…I take it your closed?" he asked.

"DIE!" Zelda yelled, hitting him with a light arrow sending the poor angel flying into the sky, landing…Paulatena knows where. And from now on, Zelda hated books.

-x-

**A/N: another short one, oh well. Keep up the suggestions and keep on reviewing, if you don't review, I won't update. Much thanks goes to Dark Ambition for her suggestions and reviewing of each chapter. :)**


	5. Ganondorf's EVIL radio show of DOOM!

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything here 'cept he nonexistent plot.**

Many of Smashville's citizens love to listen to the radio. Smashville had many great stations to keep anyone occupied. Goombas, Koopas, Piplups, and the occasional Moblin would listen to the wonderful radio they were granted. But one day, it was all taken horribly away…

Ganondorf walked the streets of town, earning horrified glares of passersby.

'I need a job.' He thought. 'I need money, or I won't be the best villain anymore. And that's just not right...' he kept walking, not paying attention to where he was going.

'Oof!' he slammed into a door. A sign was posted on it, which Ganondorf read-

**You! Yes You!**

**Do like Radio?**

**How About Music?**

**Well, have we got a job for you.**

**We are currently seeking DJs here at 'LOZR Radio'**

**I see you, I know you're interested. So come on and join today!! **

'…Wow, a DJ?' he thought. 'This…might work.'

-x-

"Next!" a man wearing sunglasses and a red shirt called. A disappointed goomba walked out the door. Ganon walked in.

"Oh my goodness! It's Ganondorf! The King Of EVIL!!" the man shouted.

Ganon looked around awkwardly.

"So…is this where I try for DJ?" the man in the red shirt nodded.

"Okay…uh…hi?"

"GAHH! TAKE IT! Take the job, just don't hurt me! AAGH!!" the man ran out the door, and tripped. Ganondorf stood in the now empty room.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed. Now he had the radio station to himself.

-x-

"R.O.B, could you turn on the radio please?" Peach asked sweetly.

R.O.B. beeped and turned on the radio he had built into himself. A calm female voice was heard.

'Now welcome back to 'EVIL' where we play the most evil tracks from the 90's, 70's and even the 20's.'

"WHAT!?" Peach gasped.

The radio began to play an interesting little tune and then went to a man talking.

"Hello, DJ GDorf here. I'm going to take calls now. Call in and answer this question and I'll give you a free GDorf T-shirt." Ganon's voice was heard on the radio.

"Here's the question, Where Is Waldo?" Ganon's voice rang.

The phones started ringing.

"What size is the T-shirt?" came a tiny voice.

"Too big for you. GO Away." Ganon hung up on them.

"Is he in the can?" came a dumb sounding male voice.

"Are YOU in the can? If you are I don't want to talk right now." He hung up on them as well.

"Is he lost?" came a little girl's voice.

"…What was your first clue?" he hung up the phone again.

"ISNT THERE ANYONE THAT CAN ANSWER THIS!?"

The phone rang again. Ganon picked it up.

"What are you doing on the radio, Ganondorf?" Link's voice came.

"Get Off my show dork face!" yelled Ganon.

"That's it I'm coming over there to get you…"

"HAH! Good luck, like you'll never find the place-GAH!"

Link was standing in the doorway, staring at Ganondorf.

"…How…did you do that?"

"Never mind that, I'm pulling the plug." Said Link. He walked over to the cords in the small room.

"Hurr-GAH!" Ganondorf punched Link, knocking the guy out cold. All while still being on-air.

-x-

"Link!" Zelda gasped.

"What was he thinking? Going in there with no weapons…" Said Peach.

-x-

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHCoughHAHAHA!!"

Ganon laughed.

"Now my Radio station will take over the WORLD!!" Ganon laughed.

"You there! Get me my theme song!" He commanded to a random Moblin he had working for him. The little guy put a record on the table and his theme started playing.

"AHAHAHAHAcoughHAHAhackHAHA!!" Ganon laughed. Again. (Because he had way to much candy today…) He picked up Link's limp body and began dancing the Macarena with it.

"I will rule the world today! I will rule the world. TODAY!" He sang along to his own tune.

"I WILL RULE THE WORLD! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! I WILL! I WLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

-x-

Everyone in Smashville's ears hurt. People swerved off the road, several birds fell out of the sky, and many windows were smashed. The smashers stood outside of the mansion.

"YAY! A party!" Captain Falcon chirped.

"It's not a party you idiot!" Samus hit him with her plasma whip.

"…Ganondorf has taken over Smashville with his music…" Zelda sighed.

Peach looked around. The radio tower where Ganon was broadcasting was high up, but could be easily destroyed.

"I need a cracker launcher." Peach said, not taking her eyes off the tower.

"So, IT IS a party!?" Captain Falcon yelled.

"NO IT'S NOT GO AWAY!" Peach said. "WHERE IS MAH CRACKER LAUNCHER!?" Olimar ran over to her.

"H-here y-y-ou g-go" Olimar stuttered.

"Thank You!" peach said sweetly, and then stepped on Olimar.

The clouds were dark, the sky looked like night, and Ike's fly was undone.

"WHAT?!" he quickly zipped it up.

Peach fired the cracker launcher like a maniac at the tower, all while Ganondorf's theme played in the background.

-x-

Meanwhile…

Still doing the Macarena with Link's currently lifeless body, Ganondorf laughed. (He really needs to cut down on his sugar intake...)

"Ah, finally I am King of this town…"

"Uh, actually sir, you're not king. At all. You did nothing but dance around with a K.O.-ed Link." Another random Moblin spoke.

"…Your point?" said Ganon. The Moblin stared at him, then Link and then at the taco on the table.

"…Oh…" Ganon sighed. "Well then, NOW I AM GOING TO RULE THE-WHOAMYFREAKINGGOSH!! " Ganon's yells were interrupted by the sound of fireworks and explosions. The radio tower shook and rattled, many Cds that hung on the wall now fell to the floor, broken. Ganondork looked out the window.

"HOW DARE THEY!" he clenched his fist. A moan came from behind him.

"Urg…what'd I miss?" Link mumbled. Ganondorf frowned.

"Now, this could be bad…"

The tower was crumbling; many of Ganon's Moblins had already scrambled for the entrance. Link got up and started running for the entrance.

"Well Ganon, it was nice knowing you." Was the last thing he said before taking leave.

Ganon sighed. Another plan of his, completely crashed to the ground.

"…And I never got to give any T-shirts away…"

-x-

The smashers watched the tower fall. Landing on hundreds of houses and people, squishing them. Then the tower burst into flames for no reason and shot more fireworks into the sky as a rainbow appeared behind the clouds.

Peach put the cracker launcher down.

"All in a day's work." She said.

Link approached her.

"Link! You made it out!" Peach yelled excitedly.

"Pff, barely, you could have waited until I escaped to start shooting." Link sighed.

"…Sorry." Peach mumbled. "So, Ganon didn't even make any money on that, did he?"

Link sighed.

"Nope."

The Smashers slowly went back inside the mansion, forgetting that Ganondorf actually lived there too. But they didn't really care because Ganondorf was reduced to a pancake with legs and could waddle over to the Hospital if he needed.

"I'll get you for this!" Ganon yelled. "I will! Next time!"

All of his Moblin minions frowned upon their master's stupidity. One of them spoke,

"Next time, lets work for Bowser."

**A/N: hmm…all of these jobs and still no money. If you haven't gathered it, Peach is the main character here. Just wanted to clear that up, although most of them are main characters anyway. Next I will do either Mario, Bowser or Kirby. Please review, I know you read but you didn't review, yeah I see you. So review or I'll send Jigglypuff to get you…please.**


	6. Cooking with Kirby

Disclaimer: I do not own the people or the food network, but I own the plot, SO THERE

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people or the food network, but I own the plot, SO THERE!**

The Kitchen was in ruins. Cake batter splattered the walls, the oven caught on fire and was now burned to a crisp, a lobster was crawling in the sink, and butter coated the floor.

Meta Knight was lying on the floor in a fetal position, muttering strange things, while Kirby just gave a blank stare. Kirby could hear Peach's footsteps _this is not good…_

He thought. As soon as Peach got to the doorway, she stopped and her jaw dropped.

"KIRBY! WHAT IN MUFFIN'S NAME HAPPENED IN HERE!?"

"It's a long story, so let me tell you…" Kirby began and a swirly flashback appeared.

"It all started, when I was born."

"Wait," Peach stopped him. "Cant you just go back to earlier today?"

"Huh? Yeah, oh yeah I can do that." Peach slapped her forehead and another swirly flashback appeared.

-x-

It was morning; Kirby had just woken up and was in the kitchen to get breakfast. Well, he was going to get breakfast but then he found Meta knight reading the want ads in Toon Link's paper.

"Did you find a job yet?" Kirby asked him.

"No, I didn't…" Meta knight replied, not taking his yellow eyes off the paper.

"Oh. Hey, it would be fun to cook for a job…" Kirby said with a happy sigh.

"They have jobs like that already." Kirby looked at him.

"Really?!"

"There's a television chef, like those cheesy shows on the food network. There's also a chef that works in a restaurant."

"…Did you say TV?" Kirby asked. Meta knight looked at him awkwardly.

"No, I said television." Meta knight answered.

"IT'S THE SAME THING! I WANT TO BE ON TV! I WANT TO RIGHT NOW!" Kirby was slamming his fists on the table (Not really fists, but you get the Idea.)

Just then a guy carrying a camera walked in. the two dreamland creatures stared at him.

"Did someone say 'Television'?" he asked. Kirby blinked.

"…uh, no I said TV…" he replied.

"It's the same thing, shrimp. Anyway, how 'bout I film a show for 'ya? We could film right here in your kitchen."

"Can we call it 'Cooking with Kirby'?" Kirby asked, his eyes sparkling.

"Uh, sure Shrimp. Whateva' you want…" Kirby jumped for joy. Meta knight eyed the camera man suspiciously; He wore shades even though he was in the house. And he was dirty; the dirt covered his Blue jacket so well that it almost looked Grey. His accent was weird too, but not like Meta knight never heard weird accents before. And how did he get in here anyway?

"Who are you?" Meta knight asked. The man looked at him awkwardly.

"Eh, the names…er...Bob" Meta knight watched him. Then he smiled.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Bob!" said Meta knight as he shook Bob's hand. Kirby jumped in between them.

"Okay, okay, when do we get to film my show and how much are you gonna pay me?"

Bob looked up to think, and then looked back down at Kirby.

"Eh, around 10,000 Dolla's, Shrimp." Kirby smiled from ear to ear. (If he had ears.)

"But, ya' gotta give me summa that moola or I aint filmin' nothin'" Kirby paused and frowned.

"…but we don't have any money…" he said sadly. Bob twitched.

"Whaa?! You aint got any money? I'm outta here…" He turned for the door; he would have left if not for the dramatic scene Kirby was putting on.

"Sniff Please, I am but a lowly little marshmallow with no life…sniff." Meta knight played the violin. Bob turned around.

"I don't have any money…sniff that's why I need this job…so…so badly!" Kirby began sobbing on the tiled kitchen floor. Bob rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but I gotta cut your pay down to 3,000."Bob said, Annoyance in his tone. Kirby looked at Meta Knight, then back at Bob.

"Done." Said Kirby.

-x-

Kirby walked into the kitchen with his chef hat on. Meta Knight and Bob were already starting the show. Meta Knight approached Kirby.

"This guy is odd, I don't trust him." Kirby gave him a look of shock.

"Nah, Bob's a great guy."

"You just met him. You know nothing about him and who wears shades inside?"

"The Elite beat agents wear shades everywhere 'cuz it's cool." Meta knight slumped at his friend's tiny brain.

"Fine, you can trust him but I wont." With that he walked away to the kitchen table.

"Alright, Shrimp, were gonna shoot this live across Smashville." Bob proclaimed.

_Live?_ Kirby thought. _What if I screw up? _He fidgeted with his hat.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1…ACTION!" Bob called. A TV that bob had set up to test the show now showed the kitchen. Red and pink words scrolled across the screen reading 'Cooking with Kirby.'

"Uh, hello everyone. Today I am going to make some garlic lobster in a garlic sauce."

Kirby's hat fell over his eyes. He quickly pushed it back up.

"A-and for dessert I am going to make some strawberry shortcake…"

He was getting nervous. But he still didn't hesitate to start getting out bowls and spoons.

Bob gave him the thumbs up.

"Your doin' great, Shrimp."

Meta Knight stood behind Kirby the entire time.

"Hey, Meta Knight, could you get the lobster out for me?" Kirby whispered.

Meta knight opened a cooler that sat on the floor and pulled a live lobster out. He walked over to the sink and set it in there to be washed.

"Okay, uh…for the Garlic sauce you need milk, garlic, salt, butter, A little bit of pepper and a little lemon juice." He added the ingredients as he spoke and began stirring them around.

"Then you put it in a pot and let it boil on high heat…" he turned the stove on.

"Oops, forgot the butter." Kirby walked to the fridge and got the butter; he turned around and slipped on a banana peel.

"Whoa!" Kirby did a back flip onto his soft toushie, he dropped the butter and it slid on the floor.

"Ahahaha! Guess there's no butter in here today!" Kirby laughed nervously. Meta knight and Bob both slapped their foreheads. Kirby got up and went back to the stove, his hat fell down again and he pushed it back up. He stirred the sauce in the pan.

"Now let's try some baking!" Kirby started getting ingredients out of the fridge again, this time being careful not to drop them.

"Strawberry cake is really easy to make if you know how," Bob was giving Kirby a hand motion and mouthed the words 'Go to break.' Kirby looked at him oddly.

"I'll show you how when we get back!" Kirby walked over to Bob.

"How am I doing?" Kirby asked.

"Terrible, Shrimp." Kirby sighed.

"W-well, what can I do to make it better sir?"

"I don't know...but hey, maybe your metal friend ova' there can take care a the camera for me. Just while I go for a break y'know?"

Kirby looked back at Meta knight, who shrugged.

"Sure."

-x-

Kirby was coated in flour now, mixing a bowl of cake batter,

"This is kinda hard to stir. Maybe I'll use Zelda's mixer…" Kirby took Zelda's mixer out of the cupboard and set in his cake batter. BWOOOZH! The mixer was loud and fast.

"Aah! How do I turn it off?!" Kirby splattered cake batter all over himself and the kitchen

"I don't know, unplug it!" Meta knight yelled from behind the camera. Kirby reached for the plug, but he let go of the mixer and it spun out of control and flew out the window, never to be seen again. Leaving cake batter all over the kitchen. Kirby stared.

"…Okay. I think the cake is ready…" He threw the pan into the oven. Up on the stove though, something was burning.

"Gah! I forgot about the SAUCE!" the pan that was full of now black garlic sauce went up in flames.

"AAH!" Kirby yelled, hitting the flames with his hat, which only caused his hat to catch on fire, which caused him to throw his at Meta knight, which caused Meta knight to run around in circles screaming like a maniac.

"AHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!" they both screamed. Squirtle walked in on them with Red, its trainer.

"GO, Squirtle! Use water gun!" Squirtle sprayed water on everyone in the kitchen, and the stove. Red sighed.

"You guys should be more careful…" and he walked away taking Squirtle with him.

Kirby sat up.

"…I…am a failure." He sighed.

Meta knight lay on the floor in fetal position, mumbling something like,

"No more fire, no more fire…"

Bob walked through holding what looked like Peach's crown, Ike's hair gel, Sonic's crystal, Snake's grenades, and Link's shield.

"What are you doing?!" Kirby asked.

"Eh, I'm robbin' you. I aint no camera man, I just wanted your stuff heh heh heeh!"

He ran out the back door, he had just stolen many of his friend's belongings. Kirby felt stupid. Peach walked in the door, she stared the kitchen down and gasped.

"KIRBY! WHAT IN MUFFIN"S NAME HAPPENED IN HERE!?"

"It's a long story…"

**A/N: poor Kirby, I would have never let that lowlife into my home in the first place. **

**I am in the middle of packing my stuff for moving into a new house so it's a little difficult update this, but expect an update once a week. Read and Review please! **

**They make me happy!**


	7. Fast Food MADNESS!

Disclaimer: I do not own. (Really, who does?)

Snake in the Box

-x-

Smashville had many places to visit, with banks and shops all around. But what you won't see is your ordinary everyday fast-food places.

"Do you want fries with that Shake?" Snake asked. Samus just ordered a chocolate shake from this new restaurant on the street. She crossed her arms.

"No." she said flatly, and Snake just frowned and opened the cash register.

This was Snake in the box, where the slogan is: 'Just a Box of goodness'

And there Snake stood in full Camouflage with a black apron and baseball cap with the words 'Snake in the box' printed on them.

Roy walked in the door soon after Samus walked out of it. Snake moaned.

"Comon, Roy, You've been cut, move back to Elibe and leave us alone…"

Roy ignored him and continued his glance on the menu.

"I'll have one Snake burger, three onion rings, two grenade salads, and one vanilla shake." He said with a bright smile. Snake growled and pushed the buttons on the cash register. Roy smiled widely, it almost began to creep Snake out.

"It'll be a minute. Go sit down and I'll call you…" Snake told Roy who listened and began heading for a booth near the window.

Donkey Kong crept up behind Snake.

"Um, Snake man, the microwave is like, broken dude…" he said.

"Then fix it."

"Uh, like, Colonel thought it was an evil robot and, like, blew it up so narly man"

Snake slapped his forehead.

"Colonel…" he moaned.

Colonel stepped out of the kitchen.

"It growled at me! What was I supposed to do?" he said in defense.

"Whatever, we'll just need to hire someone that can use a flame to cook…" Snake stated.

Just then, Daisy walked in the door.

"Hey, can you cook?" Snake asked her.

"I'm not looking for a job. You smashers need jobs but I don't." Snake frowned.

"Then order already and GET OUT."

"I want a Snake burger."

"Microwave's broken."

"Eww, you guys use microwaves?"

"Yes."

With that Daisy decided to turn around and go to Wendy's instead.

Snake groaned again.

"Someone fix the microwave."

-x-

_Why did I apply for this?_ Snake thought to himself.

It was three hours since the microwave broke, Roy even still sat at his booth, waiting.

Someone new walked into the door now, Snake couldn't recognize him.

The man was wearing a suit and his hair was styled in a strange way.

"Can I help you?" Snake asked.

The strange man stared at the menu, his jaw dropped open.

"OBJECTION!" The man yelled, pointing a finger in Snake's face. Snake didn't even flinch.

"…is there a problem?" he asked dully.

"Yes, 10 for a snake burger?! That's outrageous."

"So."

"SO, people don't want to waste their money here."

"So, do you want to buy something or are you going to harass me to no end?"

The oddly styled-haired man crossed his arms and sighed.

"One Snake Sandwich." He said, "Here's five bucks."

Snake took the money and threw it in the register as he walked into the back of the kitchen. He found Mei Ling serving Sonic some food out the Drive-through window.

"Mei Ling, who is that guy?" Snake asked, pointing to the man he had just served.

Mei Ling looked around the corner to see him.

"Oh, that's Phoenix Wright, he's an attorney." She stated.

Snake stared. _Great, now he'll sue me if the food sucks… _

"Snake?" Snake shook his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"There's a line building up over there, maybe you should go back."

"DK can handle it."

-x-

"We don't serve 'Whoppers' here, dude. We have 'Snake burgers'." DK told Ike.

"Is that made from snake meat?" Ike asked.

"Pssh, Yeah dude, like, why else do you think there called 'Snake burgers'?"

"I want a whopper."

"We don't, like, serve those here." Ike leapt up on the counter and grabbed DK's tie.

"Look here, monkey! I fight for my friends and you'll get no sympathy from me if you don't give me a freaking whopper!"

DK stared then pushed a button on the register.

"One Snake burger." He said. Ike slapped his forehead.

-x-

Three MORE hours later…

Snake had hired Charizard to flame broil the food now, it was working quite well until the dragon pokemon needed a break.

"Thanks, Charizard." Said Snake, it was nearing closing time now and most of the customers had left.

"How much did we make?" Snake asked a Money counting Mei Ling.

"…Around two thousand." She replied with a smile. Snake grinned, he could bring it home and shove it in Peach's face. Kirby walked in the door.

"I'll have a Snake burger."

DK looked at him.

"Dude, we are like, closed." He said.

"But I'm hungryyyyy…" Kirby whined, opening his mouth wide Accidently sucking the gigantic pile of money in Mei's hand. Kirby belched.

"…Oops?"

Snake pulled out his bazooka.

"Kirby?" He started darkly.

"Y-yeah?"

"DIE!"

He blasted his canon at Kirby, sending the puffball flying back to the mansion with a scream.

Mei Ling and the Colonel stared.

"Time to build a place that sells fried chicken with a colonel as the mascot…" Mei Ling stated sadly.

"YAY!" the colonel yelled happily. Snake sighed.

"Why do I even bother?"

**A/N: YAY I updated! XD next one will take just as long, hang in there! Don't Forget to Review!!**


	8. C Falcon: Ace Attorney

A/N: Yo How's everyone doing

**A/N: Yo' How's everyone doing? Hopefully not terrible because I haven't updated this in ages xx I'm SOOOORRRRYYY!! I have actually been losing interest with this, and becoming horribly obsessed with the ace attorney franchise… I hope you will all continue reading this, this chapter is longer! YAY! **

**Disclamer: Does it look like I own it? I wouldn't be here otherwise, fools.**

**C. Falcon: Ace Attorney**

Mornings in the smash mansion are always fun.

Sonic would wake up early and run laps around the backyard, Ike would spar with Link in the training room, Peach would spend five hours in the bathroom doing her hair, not caring about the mile long line of smashers with full bladders forming outside the door, and Zelda made breakfast.

Captain Falcon walked into the kitchen casually, the aroma of warm coffee tickling his nostrils. Zelda turned around to see him, her jaw dropped when she noticed what he was wearing: a suit.

"Falcon, why are you wearing such formal clothing? … Did someone die?" She asked, pouring him a cup of coffee.

He looked his attire up and down- a blue suit and a red tie, and of course, he never took his helmet off.

"Today, Princess, is the day of my first trial." He grinned, flashing Zelda his attorney's badge.

She applauded. "Good luck then, you are going to need it."

Falcon looked at her skeptically.

"… How do you know that?" the Hyrulian Princess handed him the cup of coffee.

"I just know…" He kept staring at her. "You mean you didn't hear that the Prosecution is Samurai Goroh?" Falcon spat coffee onto Zelda's face.

"HE IS!?" Zelda gave him a look of deadly glare.

"Er, sorry, maybe I'll get going now." And with that, he ran for the door. He was running late anyway.

**10:13 AM**

**Some Random courthouse in Smashville,**

Atop a tall counter, Toadsworth, the very old assistant of Princess Toadstool Peach, sat as the Judge, wearing long black robes that seemed overly large for the little guy.

"Is the defense ready?" he bellowed, from up on the stand his voice seemed to echo.

C. Falcon nodded. "Yes!"

"Hi Captain!" Peach suddenly appeared beside him, scaring the racer out o his skin.

"P-peach! What the heck are you doing here?!"

"Helping."

Toadsworth cleared his throat, "Is the Prosecution ready?"

Samurai Goroh grinned, wearing a red suit and purple tie.

"Yes, your honor." He replied in gruff voice.

"This trial is being held to decide if whether or not the defendant, Amy Rose, killed our dear friend toad."

"My poor baby!" Peach sobbed, Captain F. backed away like she was covered in cooties.

"SHE IS covered in cooties!" Shut up, talking back is rude… uh where were we?

"Will the defense call a witness?" Toadsworth said suddenly,

"Uhh," Captain Falcon seemed lost.

"Psst, Captain…" Peach began whispering.

"Yes, Peach?" She poked his rib with her elbow annoyingly.

"Call me as a witness!"

"Er, I call Princess Peach as a witness, your honor!"

Toadsworth nodded and Peach darted to the witness stand, a box of tissues in her hands.

"Ah, Princess, begin your testimony."

Big words saying 'Witness testimony' flew through the courtroom, hitting Falcon in the head,

"OOF!" Knocking him out.

Peach sneezed into her tissue, "SHE did it!" She yelled, pointing to Amy who scoffed in response.

"Objection!" Captain Falcon pulled himself off the floor and back to a standing position in front of the stand, grinning.

Everyone stared at him.

"… Er, you've something to say Mr. Falcon?" Toadsworth sweat dropped.

C. Falcon rubbed the back of his neck.

"No… I've just always wanted to say that." He laughed nervously.

Peach rolled her eyes. "ANYWAY, it was her; she killed my precious Toad…"

"Uh, as far as I know, I'm defending Amy so…"

Peach stared. "Whatever, I'll tell you what I saw to prove my accusation against Amy."

She sneezed into her tissue again.

"Last night, I asked Toad to run to the store for me, I was all out of 'personal items' and I usually make little Toad get it for me every time."

Falcon's thumped his head on the desk, "Poor guy…" He mumbled, and Peach continued.

"Three hours later, I assumed something was wrong, I mean, the store is only down the street from the mansion… So I went out to look for him, then I found him, cold, dead and underneath a light pole…" She sobbed into her tissue again.

"I was shocked to see AMY ROSE standing over him, with the most twisted grin I ever saw!"

Peach stomped her foot and kicked the witness stand, making it shake. Then she threw her tissue box at Amy's head, the pink hedgehog dodged.

"Peach! I already told you, I didn't do it!" Amy shouted.

Prosecutor Goroh chuckled.

"Oh really? Heh heh, then why was _you're_ hammer found at the scene of the crime?"

Amy shuddered. "B-because I carry it everywhere…"

"Okay I'm lost." Falcon sighed, but no one seemed to care.

Toadsworth cleared his throat.

"Would the prosecution please retell the night of the crime?"

"Certainly." Goroh grinned.

"At 8:00 pm, Toad left Smash Mansion heading for the Wal-Mart down the street, at 11:03 pm, Princess Peach called the police when she found the body and Amy."

He pulled an envelope out of his pocket.

"Toad's autopsy came in this morning," he handed it to Captain Falcon, who opened it immediately.

**Name: Toad (Princess Peach's favorite Toad)**

**Age:??**

**Reason of death: Severe head trauma.**

"… Severe head trauma?" Falcon asked.

"His body was found with his head smashed into his body. It looked quite painful."

Goroh laughed, "All from this hammer." He lifted it up, Amy shifted in her seat at the sight of her own hammer as a murder weapon.

"Amy's hammer was found at the scene, lying on the sidewalk,"

"Objection!" Falcon yelled, making large pointy letters reading 'Objection!' jab Amy in the eye.

"MY EYE!!" She cried, falling to the floor in pain.

"… Sorry."

Toadsworth cleared his throat, "Your objection, Mr. Falcon?"

"Oh, right… Just because Amy's hammer was found at the scene, doesn't mean that she did it."

"Objection!" Goroh shouted. "Then how do you think Toad died, he hit himself with the hammer?"

"Toad would never commit to suicide!" Peach sobbed.

Falcon sighed, "Let's say I drive that road every day, it's usually traffic congested. Perhaps Toad was simply a victim of a hit and run trying to cross the street."

"That's nonsense." Goroh growled. "Where's your evidence to prove that?"

"I don't have it, but I do have faith that Amy did not kill him."

Dramatic pause…

Dramatic pause…

Corny music begins playing…

"Will you stop that!?"

Peach turned off the radio. "Sorry, I was getting bored."

"Amy, would you care to have the defense listen to your testimony?" Toadsworth bellowed from the judge's stand.

She nodded, "Yes, anything to prove I didn't do it."

"Go ahead then, I'll listen." C, Falcon nodded to Amy, who began to testify.

"Last night, I was lonely so I was heading to smash mansion to visit my friend, Sonic-"

"Objection!" Falcon screamed. "It was HIM Sonic did it!"

Goroh threw his coffee at Falcon. "Grow up!"

Good thing the coffee wasn't too hot or he would have third degree burns.

"IT BUUUUURRRRNNNSSSS!!" ah, second degree burns, cool.

Amy stared. "Anyway, on my way to the mansion, I saw Toad crossing the street-"

"I KNEW IT!" Falcon pointed at her.

"Will you shut up and let me finish!? Jeez, if I had my hammer I would smash your-"

The whole courtroom gasped.

"SHE DID DO IT!" Peach pointed at Amy.

"N-no, I didn't! Let me finish, please!" She begged.

Toadsworth banged his gavel. "Order! Order! Let Amy finish her testimony or I will throw all of you out!"

Everyone fell silent now,

"Good," Amy sighed. "I saw Toad crossing the street; I was worried for him, because the street was really crowded at the time. Peach and I _**were**_ best friends, I wanted to look out for little Toad. Then I saw it, The Blue car that struck him and sent him flying into the light pole. Out of shock I gasped, and ran to his side, dropping my hammer on the ground so I could help him. By then … He was already gone…"

"A blue car? How could you tell, it was night." Falcon questioned.

"Er, I know the car, I have seen it before…"

"Objection!" The prosecution pointed a finger now.

"Explain what this car looked like…" Goroh had an evil smirk creep up his face.

Falcon grew nervous, but he didn't know why.

"I-it was blue… a-and it was a raceca-"

"OBJECTION!" Falcon gasped.

"This sounds like my car! Did someone take it?"

Amy went silent. Goroh began laughing.

"Heh heh heh, you just can't put the pieces together can you, Captain?"

"… What?"

"Where were you last night?" Goroh's gruff voice sounded amused.

"Uh… I was driving."

Peach Gasped. "Captain Falcon! I never imagined I-!"

"Be quiet, I am a good driver, and I would remember running someone over… So why don't I remember?"

Peach glared. "Because you were at that party with Marth and Ike…"

"Huh?"

FLASHBACK!  
Marth stumbled over to Captain Falcon.

"Some party eh?" He slurred.

Falcon nodded.

"Hey, you should try some of this stuff its gggooooooooooddddddd…"

"What is it? And why are you acting like a retard?"

"Man, Its sooo gooooood, here," He handed the bottle to C. Falcon, it read 'Bubble soap'.

He shrugged. "If you say it's good," And he downed the whole bottle in one gulp.

END FLASHBACK

"… You were high on BUBBLE SOAP!?" Peach slammed her hands on the table.

"Yeah, I guess I was…" Falcon rubbed the back of his neck.

"And then you drove to the mansion, correct?" Toadsworth asked.

"… Yes."

Goroh laughed. "Amy Rose, I was wrong about you."

Amy grinned.

"But you, Captain, are a disgrace!"

Captain Falcon twitched in fear.

"You killed my little Toady!" Peach yelled and began sobbing again.

"I did?!" He began sweating bullets.

"Ace Attorney Captain Falcon, I hereby strip you of your attorney's badge and arrest you, you are guilty for murder!" Toadsworth Bellowed.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?"

"Court is adjourned." His gavel slammed, and the doors closed.

**1:00 PM**

**Outside some random courthouse in Smashville**

Captain Falcon was in handcuffs. Amy and Peach stood beside him.

"Thank you for getting me off the hook!" Amy hugged him. "I can't say the same for you though…"

He shrugged. "Its okay, at least I'll get free food in prison."

Peach slapped him. "I hate you! You killed Toady, and I will never forgive you! EVER!"

Amy hugged Peach. "Don't worry, you have other Toads…"

"But it's not the same!" Peach sobbed.

"I'm sorry I put you both in trouble…" Falcon sighed.

"But I've learned one thing,"

Peach and Amy looked. "What?"

"Never drink bubble soap."

The group laughed it off like a cheesy cartoon would, and the sun began to set, even though it was only one in the afternoon.

"Wait, that's not funny, I'm going to jail!"

The End.

**A/N: Review or I'll eat your soul!**


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